The task of the leader is to get his people from where they are to where they have not been.


Henry Kissinger

Leadership and Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence may be described as:-

‘The extent to which the individual displays maturity with respect to how they manage their emotions and information in dealing with the world around them’

In the last year or two, the view has emerged that the presence of a high level of Emotional Intelligence, helps to predict successful work behaviour especially for managers and leaders. It has relevance to the selection and career development of people in all organisations.

Emotional Intelligence embraces and draws from many branches of behavioural, emotional and communications theories, such as NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), Transactional Analysis, and empathy. 


Daniel Goleman identified the five ‘domains’ of Emotional Intelligence as:


  1. Knowing your emotions.
    2. Managing your own emotions.
    3. Motivating yourself.
    4. Recognising and understanding other people’s emotions.
    5. Managing relationships, ie., managing the emotions of others.

The basic proposition is that people who:

  • Are aware of their own emotions and control them
  • Are aware of the emotions of others and
  • Are socially adept

are more likely to achieve success in modern organisations.

Some other definitions are:

To really get on you need to have a high level of Emotional Intelligence; an awareness of your own feelings and empathy with the feelings of others’, Higgs and Dulewicz

‘Emotional Intelligence is the capacity for recognising our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves and for managing emotions effectively in ourselves and others’, Goleman and Boyatzis.

In general, Emotional Intelligence purports to describe abilities which are distinct from, but complementary to, academic intelligence or the purely cognitive capacities measured by IQ.



To  explain the model, which describes the development of Emotional Intelligence, begin by thinking about the first quadrant, “Self Awareness”.

Emotional Intelligence begins here, with an awareness of our selves. This incorporates concepts such as being aware of one’s own limitations, being confident of one’s strengths, and being humble enough to admit and learn from mistakes in an open way.

From this base spring the next two quadrants, “Self Management” and “Social Awareness”. The implication is that only when one is self-aware can one begin to manage oneself; also, self-awareness is a requirement if one is to have an awareness of others’ needs and concerns.

Self-Management  or Leadership involves managing one’s emotions and impulses. Inherent in this concept are ideas such as choosing to work for the benefit for others or the company rather than one’s self; setting high standards for ones’ self; being responsible and reliable; and being open and enthusiastic about new ideas. The overall concept is about positive self-control.

Social Awareness involves the development of an awareness of others’ feelings, needs, and concerns. The concept encompasses an interest in others and their well being, and a desire to help them achieve their potential. In the specific area of relating to customers (since almost every role has customers, whether “internal” or “external”), social awareness includes an understanding of, and a desire to satisfy, customers’ needs.

A socially aware person conducts business by developing long-term relationships characterised by reciprocity, among other things. The idea that both parties benefit from this, is an integral assumption for socially aware people.

Finally, social awareness includes the concept of being aware of the mood of a group – a skill sometimes described as political deftness. All these elements of social awareness add up to a picture of someone aware of their social environment, but who may not yet transform this awareness into action.

Behaviour is the domain of the fourth quadrant, for which the second and third quadrants are precursors. Summarised as  Realtionship management or “Social Skills”, the fourth quadrant includes skills such as

  • influencing others;
  • listening openly;
  • communicating clearly;
  • negotiating effectively;
  • inspiring others and leading them towards a goal;
  • building mutually beneficial relationships;
  • and working with others in teams.

These behaviours will be the most obvious outward signs of Emotional Intelligence. Similarly, gaps in outward Emotional Intelligence may have their roots in the other quadrants


For customised leadership coaching  and free exploratory chat please contact me – cobbep@coachingcosmos.com

NOW ACCEPTING NEW CLIENTS : Coaching via Skype / Facetime / 1 to 1 meetings

My career experience includes HR Director and senior executive roles in Barclays plc and Tesco plc leading major transformation and complex change programmes reporting at Board level .I have an MBA, BA and I am a member of the CIPD and Association for Coaching. I am an accredited coach with over 12 years of private client coaching experience and as an associate consultant with Penna (UK) dealing with career, life,executive and business coaching and counselling. I work in mentoring and coaching partnerships with executives to help achieve gains of importance to them.I help people of all ages, different cultures and job levels to understand more about themselves, their impact on others and how to develop across major dimensions in life. 

I respect the integrity and confidentiality of my clients building on their existing great skills and abilities and evolving enhanced self guidance : ” No one in the world was ever you before, with your particular gifts and abilities and possibilities.”


  • Holistic / systemic approach to coaching
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  • First 100 days 
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Just a thought :
Five frogs are sitting on a log.Four decide to jump off. How many are left? 
Answer: five. Why? Because there’s a difference between deciding and doing.
Mark Feldman








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